Jason Kohlmeyer

Kohlmeyer Hagen Law Office Chtd. serving southern Minnesota in the areas of Family Law, Criminal Defense and Injury Law. Our Attorneys have been recognized with several accolades including SuperLawyer. | We Solve Problems

This question is answered by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office Chartered, in Mankato, Minnesota.

So... Minnesota IS a no-fault state, but what if one spouse seriously screws the marriage? Doesn't matter. In fact, unless (as Jason points out) one spouse is wasting martial resources to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars or more, then the court must stay out of it.

Most people who ask this question are of course more concerned with unfaithful partners, but unfortunately the truth is that that is something that the court also stays away from, and must stay away from.

One case in which the court may weigh in is in the case of a unfaithful spouse who is spending all of their time away from the children and spending it with their "new" partner, but again it's only in relation to them, and not to the "victimized" spouse.

The result may be a decision the court makes to uphold custody, but the court cannot and will not seek to "punish" one spouse, no matter how deplorable their actions may be.

Jason Kohlmeyer
Rosengren Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota

http://mankatofamilylaw.com

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This question is answered by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office Chartered, in Mankato, Minnesota.

So... do lawyers still write prenups? What is a prenup? Can you write your own? Jason tackles all of these questions at once, with pretty straightforward answers for each.

What is a prenup? A prenup is a Prenuptial Agreement, between two parties that are to be wed. A prenuptial agreement is designed to determine what would happen if the parties wed should get a divorce (or dissolution if you reside in Minnesota), though prenups are not always "airtight" as Jason highlights briefly and should really only be used in specific situations.

Jason has written prenups and Rosengren Kohlmeyer does do prenuptial agreements, but as Jason points out, you shouldn't really need one unless there is an extreme difference in the amount of money being brought to the table, or in the more common case of two business owners getting married where "ownership" might be a question.

This is mostly due to the fact that the law already does an excellent job of "keeping track" as Jason points out with the housing example, so if you're worried about losing your "most valued possessions" it's really dependent on when you acquired them.

As to the question of whether or not you could write your own prenuptial agreement, Jason answers honestly with "yes", but the truth is that since you should only be getting a prenuptial agreement if there is a heavy difference in financials, you really should take the time to hire an attorney to handle it. Writing your own prenuptial agreement is a great way to "lose" since prenups are often heavily litigated, and it will be much easier for a judge to throw it out if you write it yourself.

Something to consider is this: If you were going to court tomorrow over your divorce, do you think that a lawyer could take apart your prenuptial agreement? If you write it yourself, that is the risk you are taking, but if you let an experienced family law attorney handle it, you are looking at a much better prenup, with a more airtight contract.

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Rosengren Kohlmeyer
Law Office Chartered
Mankato, Minnesota

http://www.mankatofamilylaw.com

This question is answered by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office Chartered, in Mankato Minnesota.

So... is mediation required in Divorce cases? It's not always the case, so much as it is the judge, something that Jason hints at, and that's probably for good reason.

The truth is that most judges prefer it, and according to the United State Department of Justice, ADR should almost always be preferred to taking a course to court or trial.

The fact is that going to trial is rarely ever good for anyone, and there is multiple reasons for that. Trial costs everyone more money, time, and is a huge risk. There are a lot of uncontrollable variables that come into play when a case goes to trial, something that every lawyer should be willing to admit when asked directly.

In short, is mediation required in divorce cases? In Southern Minnesota the answer is yes. The judges here are very clear when it comes to this question. However, it differs from state to state and county to county, so that's something you should bare in mind as well.

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Rosengren Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota

This week's question, brought to us by Christopher in Madelia, Minnesota, is answered by Rosengren Kohlmeyer's Jason Kohlmeyer.

So... what can you do if your spouse doesn't agree to 50/50 custody? First, if we're going to talk about custody we have to understand that there are two types of custody in Minnesota, legal custody and physical custody and there's an important distinction between the two.

As Jason points out, legal custody deals specifically with religion, education, and medical decision making. Now, while most of the time everyone gets joint legal custody, that is not always the case. In some cases the parents may have different beliefs that conflict with each other, something that can make a custody battle a real "battle".

Physical custody or parenting time is just that. "It's how often the kids spend time at your house", Jason points out, briefly touching on the possibility of sole or joint custody. So don't ever say that you want 50/50, as this phrase is more commonly used when talking about Child Support. It is much better to say every other weekend, or two to three nights a week.

The truth is that a short answer is a shallow one in this case, as every client has a different story to tell, with a different background to back it up, and because of that, there really is no bottom line answer.

So, in short, what can you do if your spouse doesn't agree to 50/50 custody? Call your attorney and work out the details, because there is always more to the problem than you realize.

Rosengren Kohlmeyer, Law Office Chartered

This question, sent anonymously via email, is answered by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer.

So... does abuse really matter when it comes to determining custody in the state of Minnesota? The short answer is yes, it does, however, the type of abuse also matters and Jason prompts this statement with the question: "What is abuse?"

As Jason points out, a lot of the time people will say that they are "mentally abused" or "emotionally abused", which is not something the law provides for. He does not say this to dismiss the significance, or the pain oftentimes associated with such cases, but rather to proffer an explanation of what actually happens in Minnesota.

A courtroom is simply not the place to address emotional or psychological abuse and that may be hard for some to hear or accept, but that is how the law currently stands and that is where a judge would stand on the issue as well.

If the type of abuse you are asking about is in fact physical abuse, whether it is forcefully or threateningly, this can be a very large factor in determining custody in Minnesota, and has been in many cases.

It is important to note that while a lot of times physical abuse may just be the nail in the coffin for a particular case, in some cases it can also be exactly the reason the court makes their decision, and rightfully so.

So... does abuse really matter when it comes to determining custody in the state of Minnesota? Yes, of course, but the type of abuse and how much abuse has occurred should be considered on a case by case basis. As always, the best bet is to call your attorney and ask.

Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer, answers a question submitted by Alex in Mankato. The question, is "How much does a divorce cost?"

So how much does a divorce cost? Jason uses a vehicle metaphor and the truth is, it is probably one of the more accurate ways to talk about divorce since there are so many variables, whether it's property, custody, spousal support, or everything and anything in those categories.

While it might be true that a lawyer can "quote" you a price for a divorce, it simply isn't consistent case to case and the range, as Jason points out, is "big". The truth is, it is much bigger than most people think.

An average divorce in The United States costs anywhere between $10,000 and $20,000, but this typically without any really lengthy property lists, and assumes that things will not be complicated. Your case could be much different.

Another thing that Jason touched on that is important to remember is that there is another type of cost, aside from financial, in the case of divorce. It's called: Custody. In a divorce oftentimes one parent will lose a lot of the time they previously had with their children. It isn't always so horrific but there have been instances of parents losing greatly and that is a cost in itself as well and certainly something to remember.

In short, it's just not simple, your best bet is always to call your attorney and ask because every case is different, and in divorce law there could never have been a truer statement.

This question, brought to us by Abigail from Wells, Minnesota, is answered by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer.

In the state of Minnesota, there is no presumption that mothers or fathers receive any special rights as far as custody of children goes.

However, the law does favor the parent or spouse that is the majority care provider, and the reality in our current day and age, is that mothers are typically the parent or spouse that goes shopping with the kids, takes care of their school lunches, or handles the medial and educational meetings for their children.

As such, while the law doesn't automatically favor mothers, it is often the case that mothers win custody for this reason. It is nonetheless important to remember that just because you are a mom, in this case "Abigail", does not necessarily guarantee you will be granted with custody of the kids in the state of Minnesota.

Jason Kohlmeyer
Mankato, Minnesota

This question, brought to us by Steve in Winnebago, Minnesota, is answered eloquently by Jason Kohlmeyer, of Rosengren Kohlmeyer!

So... can you lock your spouse out of the house? If you purchased the property together the simple answer is no. As Jason points out, your spouse would have every right to kick down the door, as it is half their door, although this could be a crime, depending on the situation.

Now, you may ask, "Yes, but can't I just lock them out anyway?" Well the short answer, is of course you can, but to do so would be unlawful, as it is every bit as much their property as it is yours.

The truth is that while it may not be easier to sit down and have a discussion with your spouse and come to a resolution, as Jason points out, that is the best option when it comes to spousal conflict because "the courts can get involved, although they don't necessarily like to".

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